A Bang of Delight
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: Fester takes his life in his hands when he and Thing go in the closet together.  Slash.  Het.  1st of Will's 13 Days of Halloween series for Jack in 2010.


Title: "A Bang of Delight"  
Author: Pirate Turner  
For: My beloved Jack and our babies as a bit of a Halloween/Samhain/Anniversary present in this chaotic time of our lives  
Rating: R for sexual content  
Summary: Fester takes his life in his hands when he and Thing go in the closet together.  
Warnings: Slash, Het, Established Relationships  
Word Count: 1,305  
Disclaimer: Gomez, Morticia, and Fester Addams; Lurch; Thing; and the Addams Family are & TM their respective owners, none of which are the author; are used without permission; and may not be used without permission. Everything else is & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
Author's Note: This idea came about when my beloved Jack and I were jesting around late one night. It seemed rather . . . lucrative, shall we say, and I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as we did "discussing" it. ;-)

Lurch groaned as he peered anxiously at the closet door. His pale hand hovered on the handle. His brows furrowed deeply, and he groaned again. There was a light inside that kept flicking on and off, and he could hear soft moans of pleasure coming from inside the closet. No one in the family was supposed to make such happy sounds inside a closet save for him and his sweet Thing.

"Lurch, man," Gomez called, a thick cigar dangling haphazardly from one hand, "what's the problem? Go ahead and hang Mister Thicke's coat up so that you can take Missus Thicke's cloak."

"Uuuhhh . . . " Lurch groaned.

"Gomez, dear," Morticia spoke quietly, laying a hand upon her husband's arm, "perhaps we should not be so quick to hasten Lurch. There seems to be something going on inside that particular closet. Perhaps he should hang the Thickes' garments up inside another closet?"

She had barely spoken when the light flashed on again. This time, the moan was loud enough that the ears of every one present distinctly heard it. "What was that?" Mister Thicke questioned, his eyebrows raising.

"It sounded like my brother . . . " Gomez started to step forward to open the door, but Morticia pressed her hand harder against his arm, instantly stilling his actions and making him give her his full attention. "Tish?" he asked.

She regally shook her head. "Lurch . . . " She knew already that her call would come too late, however, for Lurch was even then turning the handle with the darkest and most serious expression upon his ghoulish face that she had ever seen him wear.

Lurch's resulting groan rattled the entire house, and his eyes bugged out of his head at the scene that awaited him within the closet. Fester sheepishly grinned from around the light bulb in his mouth, but it was the hand moving on his bared member upon which Lurch's furious eyes focused. Fester took one look at the fury darkening Lurch's normally pale face, gulped, and swallowed the light bulb.

Thing jumped off of his member, spread his appendages in fright, and promptly leapt off of Fester. He sailed between Lurch's spread legs and raced straight to Morticia. He jumped to safety upon her bosom, and although she petted him, she did turn a disapproving frown upon him. "Thing, how could you hurt Lurch so?" she queried.

The Thickes, who had been unable to see what was happening in the closet for Lurch's broad frame, had started screaming the moment Thing had appeared. Now, upon the sight of their hostess stroking the severed hand as though it was a pet, Missus Thicke fainted. Gomez barely caught her as her husband turned tail and ran. "Hey!" he called. "If you have to leave on an emergency, that's understandable, but don't forget your wife!" His only answer was the slamming of a car door and the screeching of tires. He looked at Morticia with a helpless shrug.

"Lurch . . . " Morticia spoke, her voice soothing and placid, but he glared at her and moaned fiercely. She grimaced at the warning in that miserable moan.

"Don't take that tone of voice with my wife!" Gomez declared, but before he could drop Missus Thicke and advance on Lurch, Lurch had groaned at Thing and turned his attention fully back upon the cowering Fester.

"Look, Lurch, I didn't know he was yours! Honest, I didn't! I never would've thought about Thing being with anybody, but when he started helping me, it - it just felt so good . . . " He waggled his eyebrows at the giant Zombie. "You know what I mean."

Morticia shook her head. "Oh, dear," she tisked, "I am afraid that our dear Uncle Fester is not helping his case at all."

Gomez grimaced as he heard Lurch moan again. Lurch grasped the edges of Fester's collar and picked him up off of his feet. Fester squealed as the butler carried him straight through the back wall of the closet and on through ten more walls, going out of the house and into the moonlit garden. Only then did Lurch finally growl. The sound of that ear-shattering, ferocious growl crumpled a nearby shed.

Morticia grimaced as Lurch began to pummel Fester. She glanced at Gomez, then returned to peering through the gaping hole Lurch had made in their home. "Do you think we should say something?"

"Are you kidding?" Gomez cried jubilantly, his mustache quivering with his broad grin. He took a quick puff on his cigar. "The old man's going to love whatever Lurch does to him! He may have been having fun with Thing in the closet, sweetheart, but you know Fester loves to be beaten up, exploded, and everything else! Unfortunately, for Lurch, the worst thing he could probably do to Fester would be to lock him away in a dungeon without anything to torture himself with at all and surround him with cute and fluffy teddy bears and kittens!"

Morticia grimaced. "That would be the worst," she agreed, her skin crawling at the mere thought of being surrounded by that much cute innocence. She looked condescendingly down upon Thing. "Are you quite satisfied with yourself now that you've been such a handful of trouble?"

Morticia gave a sharp, startled gasp as Thing jumped up into the air and signaled okay. "Thing!" she exclaimed. He fell to the floor and gave his imitation of a shrug. Morticia looked scoldingly down upon him, her dark eyes flashing with haughty disapproval.

Gomez laughed. "Ah, come on now, cara mia," he spoke, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close, "you know we all like to be troublesome at times."

"Yes," Morticia replied with a soft sigh, "but not to be so to our own family, mon chri!"

"Ah, Tish," Gomez exclaimed, his whole body, and especially his mustache, quivering with the excitement with which her words flooded his being, "you spoke French again!" He grabbed her closest hand and started kissing his way up her arm.

Morticia sighed. Gomez kissed her again and again, bringing more sighs from her, and finally she relented. "Mon amour . . . Ma cherie . . . Mon coeur . . . " She continued to speak more loving words of their favorite language as Gomez worked his way up first one arm and then her other.

With a jubilant cry that almost completely drowned out her French endearments, Gomez lifted his wife into his arms. She wrapped one arm around his neck as he continued kissing her other arm while carrying her up the stairs to their bedroom. She sighed happily as she nestled into her love's arms.

Yes, Thing was troublesome, but where would they be without that delightful trouble? She nuzzled his neck, kissed him passionately, and grazed his flesh with her rarely revealed fangs. Gomez gasped in delighted surprise and quickened the pace of both his feet and lips. Even from their current distance, she could still hear Lurch pummeling Fester and Fester crying out for "MORE!", but the sensations that Gomez were sending tingling all throughout her body had made her concern vanish while increasing that fire that always burned within her for her loving soul mate alone.

Addams, Morticia thought, went hand in hand with trouble like darkness and Witches, moons and wolves, black gowns and lace, and gift wrap and curses. She loved her family and wouldn't change anything about them for the world, including the trouble they caused. She smiled into the smooth angle of her lover's neck and whispered, "Je t'aime, mon chri!", just as they reached their bed and Gomez laid her down for the night. Their beloved Witching season was just beginning, and this year certainly promised to be a bang of delight!

**The End**


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